so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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