just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left