If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
