i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
