we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
