It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
These tits shall not be calmed
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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