we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
