I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
