I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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