We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
