Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
