Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
