What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
