grandma shit on top of the toilet
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
