Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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