i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
