he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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