Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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