Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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