I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
