You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
