so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
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You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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