Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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