You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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