It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
