My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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