upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
