Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
