Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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