I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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