Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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