I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize