I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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