if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
