3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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