from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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