Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have so many feelings about this burrito
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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