Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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