Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
