just come out here and I will go home with you...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
