You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
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My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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