we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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