There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
