Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
