Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
