im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
