you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
