you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
