what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So many bounce houses so little time
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
