i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
