i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
