dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she told me i tasted like america
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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