if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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