Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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