I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
