He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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