If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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