So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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