he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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