If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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