5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
