Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
