just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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